Today, I am going to do it. I am getting “off” FaceBook for a while, or maybe, forever. This is something I have been toying with for quite a while. It has been just a week over seven years that I have been a member of the FaceBook crowd. I joined it when my eldest son wanted to join. Neither of us knew what we were doing but together we found out what it was all about. He was a sophomore in high school, about to participate in his first musical theater performance. I think we both figured it was a way to share photos and stay connected with friends. It also coincided with his decision to apply through open enrollment to complete high school virtually. Perhaps, it was a good way to stay in touch with his “brick and mortar” friends.
So, seven years. Seven years of navigating the fickle, finicky, sometimes fabulous and oft-times, frustrating world of social media. Seven years of sharing, commenting, friending, liking, following, unfollowing, and also, learning to keep one’s mouth shut. Seven years of being exposed to neo-liberalism, far-right taunts, fake media, and dealing with people ~ friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers ~ who think they can say anything they want, but quash others who express a view different from their own.
Seven years, FaceBook, seven years. And, I have finally had enough. My son was smarter than I, although I have always known this to be the case. He got off FaceBook last fall. His reasons – the negativity, the nastiness, the anonymous-ness of saying what you want whenever you want to say it, to whomever you want. In essence, as he told me in his esteemed 23-year-old wisdom, “FaceBook does not make the world a better place.”
I tried to hang on. I like how I can contact an old friend or see what they are up to. I like the ease of messaging. I like sharing my photographs and my blog. I like reading the ideas of others – some of which I agree and some of which I do not. I like learning what others think and knowing how they think differently than I. But, there is much that I do not like. I found that some posts and some people in particular bothered me. So, this past fall, after a great deal of internal debate, I unfollowed. In general, it was better. But, still, I am bothered by the judging, the assuming, the criticisms, the questioning, and the general negativity. Do we not want to stay away from doing all these things? I know I do. And, that is why I am saying good-bye. Every. Single. Word. Is. Judged. It is just not necessary. Truly, it is a game. And, I have never been a good game player.
I posted a note on my FaceBook page yesterday, telling my “friends” what I was going to do and how they could contact me otherwise. It was not an ultimatum, just a notification that I will not be manning my page, reading theirs, or any others for a while. I am sure I will find other things to occupy my time. I hope I will be less angry, less judgmental, less assuming, less negative, and less critical after some time away. I know I will not be fed any longer by these same traits others are actively employing. I know not everyone on FaceBook is bad. On the contrary, I love my friends! I know I will miss being in contact with quite a few of them. I enjoyed much of my time on FaceBook. But, it is time for me to take a well-intended and much-needed break.
And, that is exactly what I am going to do today. Good-bye, FaceBook. Hello, Life!
Written to share on Slice of Life Tuesday sponsored by Two Writing Teachers blog.
The Apples in My Orchard 
This is definitely something I’ve considered over the years. I think I might delete the Facebook app off my phone but keep Messenger as my closest friends live in other countries and its the best way to stay in contact! But I agree with you, scrolling through Facebook does nothing for me!
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I plan to keep Messenger as I do contact my son at college and will have another one going later this year to keep in contact with as an alternative to texting. I also contact friends through it as well. Thanks for your support and comments!
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Yes I use it purely for keeping in contact too!
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Your post expresses truths about FB that will resonate with many. I began breaking up w/ FB in January but have shared a couple of blog posts. Now I’m to the point that FB is meh to me. It’s a chore to check in. I don’t miss it and believe it doesn’t miss me.
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Thank you for your support. I just do not understand the negativity. I never seem to “say”the right thing. Tired of being judged and feeling it so intensely. I will miss sharing my blog on it, but I believe it is a good decision. Just deactivated now. I hope I feel like you, soon. Thanks, again.
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I respect your well-thought-through decision!
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Thanks, Peg. Just deactivated now. I am keeping messenger, so you’ll still be able to contact me that way. I just couldn’t take it anymore…..I feel the the negativity and insensitivity to others too intensely. I do plan to email you soon, too! Just finding time to sit down and do it! Thanks for your support!
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I wish I had your determination! I think I am addicted – no really – I check Facebook too many times a day. I joined when I my first grandchild was born so that I could see pictures. I like it for that reason, but I spend too much time on silly articles. Maybe I need to start small….one day at a time.
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Good Luck to you! I hope you can limit yourself as you want. I do not think it will be easy for me, either. But, the time had come. Happy that I just went ahead and did it. Thanks for your comments!
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I hear you! Social media can be so toxic. I’m weary of untruth, even in the way people present their personal lives. As you say, limit it and be “… less angry, less judgmental, less assuming, less negative, and less critical after some time away.” I have cut way back, keeping it mainly to stay in touch with friends from my youth and family scattered around the world.
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Toxic is a great word! I think it totally fits the way I was feeling. I hope to just use the messenger app to continue to communicate with those I really want to – namely family and a few good friends. Thanks for taking the time to comment!
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Yay You! What a fabulous, purposeful decision!! Thanks for sharing!!
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Thank you for reading and commenting! I appreciate it! And, I am very happy about my decision! Have a wonderful day!
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After a run-in — literally– with a car last August, a concussion kept me off of the computer and all social media for several months. I didn’t miss it. I’m back on Facebook now because I follow certain news sites. I also like to share photos with friends from my old town (we recently moved.) My involvement in Twitter, Facebook, etc. is even more deliberate now than it used to be. It’s quieter in my head and I like that.
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I hope you are recovered from your run in! How scary! I do think I might return to it after an extended break. I have a son graduating high school this May and there will be things that I want to both share and see from other people. but I like that you were able to return to it as more a deliberate participant. In any case, my decision to “get off” has led to some enlightening conversations with my sons. For, now, I know I will miss it somewhat in the next few weeks but am glad I decided to not participate for a while. Take care. And, I hope your head stays quiet! (That’s a great phrase!)
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I deactivated my Facebook account a year ago. Best thing I ever did. There are some things I “miss” – particularly among my work friends – but they usually catch me up over lunch. When we talk. Face to face. And I love it.
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Thanks for your comments. I think I will miss certain aspects of it for sure. But, talking with people is so important. I will get what I need from my friends, face to face, as you have! I hope I end up as happy as you with my decision!
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I don’t have a personal FB page, but I do maintain FB pages for my local reading council and I have a classroom page. While both of those accounts have been great for making connections, I understand what you’re saying about the platform because there are a lot of issues with the ways in which FB is used. As I read your post, I thought about how it would be a great tool to use with students in classrooms. They could debate the pros and cons of FB, they could explore your reasons for leaving FB, and they could even respond to your post. I think that your post would be a great mentor text, especially for middle and high schoolers!
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Okay….really weird here. I was reading and commenting on your post when I saw your comment come through! 🙂 Wow! I just read your comments! Thanks, so much! I will miss sharing my blog on my FB page. Recently, that accounts for many of my daily postings. I do have FB friends who are dedicated readers and think they will “follow me over to WordPress” to read what I wrote. At least, I hope so! Thanks, again, for your comments!
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I admire your desire to disconnect from Facebook. I’ve thought about it often, but haven’t pulled the trigger. (They’ve got me. And for me it’s been ten years!)
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Thanks so much for your comments. Since I had been thinking about it for quite a while, I decided it was time to let it go. My teens aren’t impressed! LOL. Oh, well. What’s right for one person, isn’t necessarily right for another. Thanks, again & stay warm! Looking forward to the March SOL challenge!
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