Parents

My parents have been on my mind lately. They live about 900 miles away on the Western side of New York State. I haven’t lived near them in over 20 years.  But, they are aging and so am I. As the saying goes, time doesn’t wait for anyone.

Lately, there have been several things that have brought my parents to the front of my mind. One was this morning when I had to give a family health history to a new provider. We switched health care systems when my husband retired last year and are getting acquainted with a new system for appointments, labs, etc.  I was glad my old records had transferred over from our previous provider because I failed to remember certain ailments my parents had until I was prompted. Some might find this odd, but when you live so far away from your family, you do not receive day to day reminders that they might be suffering from this or that.

Then, there was the recent resignation from my job. I have not conversed with them about this yet. They knew I was unhappy with how things were going and that I felt it wasn’t a good fit for me.  I hung on despite their advice not to.  Since I refused to give up as quickly as they thought I should, I guess I stopped talking to them about it.  It’s too bad, I think I could have used them as a source of support. Maybe.

And, then, it’s also been a while since I’ve seen them. It’s approaching two years, I think. There have been opportunities to get together like last November when I took my son to visit our alma mater in New York. But, as people age, they are not as mobile, so since our visit was brief and since the college was two hours away from where they live, we were unable to see each other. I think the last time we saw them in person was in November of 2017 when I made a trip back to visit them.  Before that, we had seen them in May of that same year for our middle son’s high school graduation.  So, it’s been too long.

Yesterday, I made plane reservations to go see them in November.

It’s time. I miss them.

I do love them very much.

This post might not be understood by many. I have friends who are close with their parents. They’ve never moved away. They talk daily and visit weekly during family meals, church, or other gatherings.  I know they don’t understand. Sometimes, I don’t understand it either. But, as they say, it is what it is.

But, I had good parents. It’s just that our generation became mobile and theirs did not. It is that mobility that will allow me to go and visit them again. I am looking forward to it.

 

This is Slice of Life Tuesday.  Thanks to TwoWritingTeachers.org for hosting this weekly forum that allows educators to share a part of their lives through writing.

 

9 thoughts

  1. This is the melancholy type of thing that makes my heart lift and heavy all at once. My parents are not a mobile as they used to be, but I live an hour away. We talk every couple of weeks, and try to visit at least once a month. As they age, it reminds me of my own mortality and the fact my wife’s parents have been gone 10 years now. That line: “Time doesn’t wait for anyone,” is so true. In a few years, it will be my daughters worrying about me. Until then, we’ll visit, we’ll talk, and we’ll continue forward, just like you and your parents will do! 🙂

    Thank you for sharing this today. I think I’ll call my parents tonight.

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    1. Oh, Darin! Thanks so much! Yes. It is very hard. My sister lives only about an hour away from my folks and sees them about as much as you do yours. My husband’s parents have both been gone several years now. I wish we had made the trip back more than we did over the last 20 years but at the time I wanted my boys to be in their own beds Christmas morning when they were little, and of course, as you know as children get older, they also get busier so there is less time for taking trips. Sad. We all do the best we can at the time. What is important is moving forward in a positive way. I am sure you parents will be happy receive a phone call from you. Thanks for your heartfelt response. I am both happy and sad you could relate.

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  3. This was very touching as I can relate. My husband and I live about 1000 miles from both our parents and they are less mobile, too. I just made a visit up there to visit our parents, kids, and grandkids. We love living in Texas while they all live a couple of states above us, so we do the best we can. Thank goodness for unlimited long distance that we all can talk whenever we choose. Your ‘time does not wait for anyone’ is priceless. Thanks for sharing your story. 🙂

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  5. Nice that you can book a visit. I live far from home too and over time it’s always been me making the visits. I feel annoyed and a bit resentful about it all. But then I start to miss everyone and next thing you know I’m booking another flight. As my parents age I think more about visiting, especially because now they really do have a reason to not come see me. (Not true for my siblings, but that’s another story!)

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