Lately, if I were to be honest, I’m struggling with my writing a little bit. While I don’t think this is unusual for most writers, I find it somewhat odd for me. I’ve written almost daily since February of 2017. To date, I’ve made 1,223 posts, not counting today’s, and had over 37,000 views from 24,000 visitors to my blog. I established a post just for Sunday – a post without words, just photographs – another of my creative pastimes. As a blogger, I feel successful. Many people read my posts regularly and I’ve “met” some awesome fellow bloggers and published authors.
But, despite the success, I feel a nagging to move beyond my blog. I posted a few pieces to the Medium website. Meh. Not much happened. I suppose I really did not give it much of a chance.
I started to look at where I could publish some of my poetry. But, as some of you are aware, this is easier said than done. Did you know that many publishers of poetry (online or in print) will not publish if your piece has been published before and this includes blogs? I found that out yesterday! So while trying to establish an audience, most of my best work went into my blog. But, now I cannot do anything else with it. This means, I need to write some fresh pieces or scour my files for something I haven’t already put out there. It was disappointing. Still, I took the hopeful chance of sending for a copy of one literary magazine and downloading another.
Over the last six months, I joined several online writing groups. Yesterday, I unsubscribed to one of them. The others are on my list to chuck as well. I haven’t gleaned anything useful from them, other than they want my time and subscription fees. The daily (or, sometimes more than daily) emails are intrusive and pressure-filled.
I looked into self publishing by attending an online webinar held by a local author last May. She offered a lot of good information. But, I seem to work in fits and starts towards that goal. This week, as well as last, I pushed off writing my blog until the evening, so I could spend time during the day on my other writing goals. Again, meh. At this point, I’m not sure I’m afraid of the rejection or the possible success. All I know is that I’m not working towards my writing goals with 100% motivation and satisfaction.
Yes, I know. We’re all in a hard place this year. 2020 has been so odd. From the polarizing political climate to the lack of my ability to continue to teach as a non-formal environmental educator due to social distancing and organizational shut downs, I feel, as probably do millions of others, stymied. I feel like my feet are stuck in the ground while my torso is leaning forward but unable to move. Does that make sense?
A couple of years ago, my sons gave me advice that still resonates with me. I need to do what makes me happy. Am I trying to prove something with my writing? What do I really want to say? Why is publishing my work so important? When I was just writing my daily blog, I was more content. I produced better pieces, in my opinion. Certainly writing in the morning was a better option than waiting until the end of the day when I am spent. I feel like I’m doing a writing dance with myself, and now it’s time so make a slow turn backwards, or even sit a few out.
After I do that, we’ll see where the muse leads.
Today is Slice of Life Tuesday. Thank you to the TwoWritingTeachers blog for extending an opportunity each week for us to share our writing. I also want to thank the individuals who contribute each week who are supportive and thoughtful in both their posts and comments!