There have been two distinct periods of my life when I’ve almost lost my parents (individually) due to health issues. One was with my Dad when they returned from a Caribbean cruise and he had contracted the Norwalk virus. He was admitted to the ICU at our local hospital immediately upon their return – on Easter Morning twenty-five years ago. His kidney’s had shut down and he was in failure. Miraculously, he survived.
More recently in September 2021, my mom was admitted to ICU at the same hospital with acute urosepsis. She had also been experiencing the beginning of dementia. We’d noticed her memory failing for recent events, and she’d been falling repeatedly – ultimately being diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. From September to November 2021, she spent 58 days in the hospital, eight of which were in the ICU. Then, she went to a step-down/transitional unit, and then a long-term care facility for rehab. My dad worked to bring her home, where she is now, and physically doing alright for an 85-year-old. What follows are some of the conversations we’ve had since. We live 900 miles away. It’s hard to visit, but it’s even harder not to visit. So we make the trip every three months. My sister lives seventy-five minutes away from my parents but still works full time. We do the best we can.
Snippets of Recent Conversations with My Mom
Mom: We haven’t seen you in so long! I’m glad you came.
Me: We were just here three months ago, Mom. We’re coming more often now.
Mom: I’m glad you came.
Mom: Do you know they got a new dog across the street?
Me: We met Luna, Mom, last summer when we came to visit. Remember, Luna and Molly (our dog) played in your yard?
My Mom two hours later…do you know they got a new dog across the street?
My reply two hours later: Oh, really? What’s the dog’s name?
Mom to Dad: Whose car is in the driveway?
Dad: That’s our car.
In the hospital, watching the T.V. report on a group of protestors.
Mom: You need to go down there, Carol. They need a leader like you – a strong, articulate leader!
Me: (What?!) No, they don’t need me – there are enough people involved.
Mom: They do, you’re a leader, Carol.
Me: Thanks, Mom.
Mom: Where’d everyone go?
Dad: Who? We’re the only ones here!
Mom: I mean my parents. Who are you?
Dad: I’m your husband, Bob.
Mom: Where’s Dad?
Dad: He’s dead. He’s been dead a long time.
Mom: Oh. Oh, that’s right.
Mom at the end of every phone call: Love you, much.
Me: I love you too, Mom.
I guess it’s natural to think of my mom this weekend, as Mother’s Day approaches. We won’t be there, and neither will my sister – her daughter graduates from college in a different state on Sunday. My gift will be late – she asked for another walker bag – a handmade fabric bag that hangs over the walker frame to carry books, a pen, etc. I made her one upon her return home and she uses it daily (it can be seen below). I am happy to make her another. It won’t be there Sunday. I’ll talk to her and send my love, the ultimate gift. We’ll be there in no time, summer is around the corner!
On Sunday
I’ll tell you I love you,
It’s really all I have to give
And hopefully, all you need
To hear,
To have,
To remember.
I love you, mom.
© Carol Labuzzetta, 2023
Today is Poetry Friday. Our host is Robin Hood Black on her blog, Life on the Deckle Edge. Thanks for hosting, Robin!
The Apples in My Orchard 
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