Poetry Friday: Oh, the Joy!

Another reason for joy (I think) is that the Ice is off the lake already! © Carol Labuzzetta, 2024

Happy Poetry Friday, Friends!

This week saw considerable progress on the upcoming new anthology Picture Perfect Poetry: An Anthology of Ekphrastic Nature Poetry For Students.

In fact, I should be ready to send it in for a proof copy today! I am so excited that this project came together. The book is beautiful! Thank you to all of those who contributed to the anthology.

I chose a tentative book birthday of March 31st, 2024. Primarily, this date was chosen because I told participants it would be published in March. But, the date depends on a few things, including how much I need to change after I see the proof.

I am trying to be as thorough as possible – sometimes triple-checking things – so that I have very little editing to do after proofing the hard copy.

My other thought though is that maybe I should just have it come out during April since it is Poetry Month. I’d be interested in hearing your opinions on that.

The book is uploaded to KDP (Kindle Direct Press) but I plan to use Ingram Spark too. I just have to read a little about what happens with ISBN numbers (I bought my own numbers – so it is not linked to KDP) when I choose to publish through both platforms. I know it’s possible, I just have to read the specifics.

After all, it would be a great book for school libraries, bookstores, and teachers to have. Ingram Spark is better for that.

Lastly, one of the reasons I wanted to publish this anthology was because I saw so much work from Poetry Friday Friends and on other pages, where the authors were getting rejected. This applies to me as well.

A case in point is my villain poem. Some might remember I wrote a poem on a villain but didn’t share it because it had to be unpublished (yes, even to a blog) to be submitted. Twice now it has received rejections. I know that is not a lot but when I received the second one early this week, it brought forward a feeling of perseverance that was part of my motivation for the Picture Perfect Poetry Anthology.

I’d like to share the poem with you now. If you have suggestions, please let me know. I want to experiment with crowd-sourcing a poem! Post Script: I think the ending line needs work.

Captain Hook and Crocodile at WDW © Carol Labuzzetta, 2010

Captain Hook’s Rant


Oh Peter, why do you have to be such a child?

Flying around with Wendy and Smee,
You’re going nowhere fast, can’t you see?

The magic you use is not a match for me,
For Captain Hook, I am, and will always be.

My ship is my home, where you don’t belong.
Following my orders is how my crew stays strong.

Against the silly games that you want to play,
Zipping in and out with that fairy that cannot slay.

You don’t know me at all; How I earned this boat!
Where I came from, how I worked, all to stay afloat.

Oh, Peter! Stop your foolish games!
Come now, grow up, so together we can have fame.

We’ll have a dual, one will win, and another will die,
I know which side of the sword I’ll be, without a lie.

The fight will be clean, two grown-up men.
No fairies, no pirates, just us in the fen.

Oh Peter, grow up now, I won’t wait anymore
For you to continue being a child!


© Carol Labuzzetta, 2023
Wisconsin Poet


Peter Pan Topiary at WDW © Carol Labuzzetta, 2010.

I also wrote about Peter Pan in my Medium blog for today. You can catch that article here.

View at Medium.com

This week Poetry Friday is hosted by Tanita Davis on her blog, fiction, instead of lies. Thanks for hosting Tanita!

19 thoughts

  3. Wow, what a wonderful group of topiaries!

    I’d have to take a while to really study your poem to make more than a few suggestions, but I can give you a couple of tiny thoughts:

    1. Duel, rather than dual – homonyms are always a bear
    2. Maybe the last line can be “It’s past time for lingering on childhood’s shore” or somesuch. Since Hook is a captain and he has a ship, the shore is a place he doesn’t want to be, but the pirate’s life – and the sea – is where he’s happiest.
    3. I’m not an intuitive poet much, I tend to count my meter/feet to make sure that I stick to a strictly measured rhythm when I’m using even a hint of a form – if you’re stuck, you might do that, or…
    4. Add more juicy, descriptive language where you can.

    I quite like the poem as is as well, but I hope you find something here which sparks a few ideas going forward, if you choose to revise. Thanks for sharing it, and happy weekend!

    Like

    Reply

      1. Ugh, WordPress is occasionally cranky!! Sorry about that!

        Looking forward to seeing your finished product! This poem has a lot of energy and movement and I feel you’ll do Hook justice.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Carol, thank you for entrusting us with the villain poem. I like it because it doesn’t seem so villainy. Although Hook is a pirate, he’s still part of a storybook, and he seems a bit safer here with the rhyming. I think Tanita has some really good suggestions, especially C for these lines, which could be tightened up, I think:

    Following my orders is how my crew stays strong.

    Zipping in and out with that fairy that cannot slay.

    Come now, grow up, so together we can have fame.

    You have the first line standing alone, and maybe your last line could stand alone too (as they are almost the same – or you could write them exactly the same.). Then you could write a second line for that last couplet, rhyming with anymore. Or, I also thought Tanita’s last line was good too.

    All the best as you revise! And I’m so looking forward to the anthology. I think March 31 would be a perfect book birthday, as it makes it available for all of NPM!

    By the way, I finally spent my Barnes & Noble gift card, and shared my gifts on today’s post. Thank you again for that.

    Like

    Reply

  5. It takes bravery to be vulnerable enough to put a poem “out there” and ask for feedback! But getting and giving suggestions has helped me grow as a poet, so good for you as you continue to grow!

    You have already identified that the ending needs work. It threw me off as a reader when you dropped the rhyme.

    I’m curious about the line “Come now, grow up, so together we can have fame.” Clearly, Hook only wants the fame for himself — he wants to fight and kill Peter. Maybe you could try another non-rhyming version where you really delve into Hook’s motives and back story. (Sometimes when I’m stuck, I write the same poem in several wildly different forms, even in prose, to try to find the heart of what I’m really trying to say.)

    Good luck! I can’t wait to see where your revisions take this poem!

    (And, yes, those are fantastic topiaries!)

    Like

    Reply

    1. MaryLee, Thank you so much for your extensive feedback. I agree the rhyme at the end is a failing part to the poem – it is abrupt. I was thinking of Hook telling Peter they’d both as fame (or infamy) as a ploy to gode him into fighting. I don’t want the poem to be too dark. Thanks, though, I really appreciate all your thoughts. As I told Linda M., I feel this poem is worth the time of revision.

      Like

      Reply

  6. Hooray for progress! I hope you take time to record your thoughts on the process of anthologizing. I cannot imagine the work of that. To me, writing daily is all I can keep up with. I have kinda of stopped submitting just because I cannot keep up with that either. I hope someday when I retire, I can get back to that. Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Linda, Thanks for recognizing the work involoved in an anthology! I do have to sit down metacognate about the process. I am having a little break while its being printed – a much needed break. I also visited your Etsy shop. Your artwork is outstanding (I already knew this) – happy you are finding success with that!

      Like

      Reply

  7. Hi Carol, It would be very nice to have the anthology arrive for Poetry Month, giving you time for what you want to finish & a perfect debut time for, yes, poetry! You are so wonderfully open about asking for feedback. I like the idea of Captain Hook railing at Peter, a new look at the story! I read everyone’s comments, too, & more than anything, suggest you check the meter to ensure it’s perfect. Best wishes for revision. Sometimes it makes my head hurt, but it’s worth it when it finally, finally works!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Hi, Linda! Thanks so much. Yes, I know the meter fails, especially at the end. I feel like this poem is worth the time to work on. The book should be out as planned, at least on KDP. I’m working on the Ingram Spark and know there is a little delay with them sometimes.

      Like

      Reply

Leave a comment