Letters: Have you ever? A recurring blog series.

“Have you ever” is a recurring series in my daily blog. I do not visit it as often as I should but I recently thought of another topic that fits this category of wondering if I am like other people or not. If you are interested, some of my other post in this series are here:

Have you ever eaten a kumquat?

Have you ever shopped consignments?

Have you ever seen Rorschach ink blot images in your shower tiles?

Have you ever done something you knew would irritate you but did it anyway?

Have you ever blurted out, “this is expired?”

Have you ever dug around in your kitchen pantry looking for the very last “something”?

Have You Ever Written a Letter only not to send it?

But, today, I’d like to ask – Have you ever written a letter and not sent it? I have done this several times in my life, as well as recently.  Last week, I wrote a letter to a public official in our town.  The letter was fluid, expressive, expository, and filled with emotion but yet, polite and restrained. Yet, there it sits in my email drafts.  I just cannot decide whether I want to send it or not. Lately, I am trying to keep my thoughts to myself about the things that irritate me. As an intense person, I notice many things that perhaps the general population does not. Eventually, this quality of “paying extreme attention” to life, leaves me frustrated. It is at that point I resort to writing it all down.

My letters used to be sent on a more regular basis. This was an attempt to share my views as an involved citizen, tax payer, parent, and community member.  I always thought maybe something would come of it, that sharing my views might have a “pay off” in terms of  providing an ah-ha moment for someone else. Yet, that rarely happened. What happened more frequently was that I would not get a response from the person to whom I had addressed the letter or the response I received was one that the sender thought would placate me.

Why Write Letters Then?

So, I still write my letters. They help me to put my thoughts in order so I can return to them if need be. In essence writing the letters help me to vent, even if no one reads them. For today, most of my letters, although written, remain unsent. And, I am not sure whether that is a good thing or not, since I have really only expressed my thoughts to myself!

Have you ever written a letter, only not to send it off?

Let me know if this has ever happened to you.

 

13 thoughts

  2. I love this ‘Have Your Ever’ format! I like playing around with the ‘Would You Rather’ format as well. You definitely have me thinking today about the possibilities of what I have not yet done…..but want to.

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  3. I have very occasionally saved an email in drafts overnight, and deleted it the next day because it just won’t help. It is not a good idea to press send if you are still upset.

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    1. It surprised me how many comments I got about writing, saving, and deleting. I agree that it is better to wait if the email and/or letter is written in anger. I have done that as well and not sent it. However, the comments (and the consistency of this theme) made me realize that my post wasn’t really about doing that….just about writing in general and not sending it on. Thanks for your comments.

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  4. Almost all the letters I’ve written and not sent were to my husband, when I was angry at him. It helped me work through my feelings and in the end, I’m glad I didn’t share them. Your post gave me some good writing ideas. Thanks.

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  5. Honestly, not very much. Unfortunately, I have written letters or emails I probably should not have sent, and I have written some that I have “let sit” for a while, only to go back and make them kinder before sending. It is always a good idea to wait if the letter was written in anger or distress. I like the “Have You Ever…” idea. I once played a parlor game with toothpicks that was along that line.

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  6. I have written texts, letters , emails that I wish I had never sent. Now I compose letters in my head, then delete. It saves me from being disappointed over the response I expected, or wanted, but rarely got.

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  7. Pingback: A Returning Series: Have You Ever???? – The Apples in My Orchard

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