Contemplating Lack of Motivation

This two-week break (no school – online or otherwise) has caused a great loss of motivation for me. No longer up at 6:30, I  blame this on insomnia creeping back into the house. The two hours between one and three a.m., as I lay wide awake in my bed, grateful to be safe in a warm, quiet house, pass slowly. I ruminate like a cow chewing her cud about the many things that I cannot control or change.  But, as morning arrives, I finally sleep contentedly between the blankets. My husband’s been up for three hours, fed and walked the dog, and checked the news for the day.

I feel like a slug. Usually, I am a highly motivated, self-directed person.  I am very goal-oriented and have been known to work tirelessly to reach my goals. Right now, I’m not doing that. Unless…..

Unless my goals have changed? Could it be?!

The answer is probably not. I know this is temporary.  I just feel blah.

I think the lack of motivation is brought about by a number of factors. But, still, it got me thinking. Does a lack of routine destroy motivation?  Or, can it restore it? What is your take on this?

Like most schools, our district will be coming off Easter break after the holiday on Sunday.  Our longer than usual one week break turned into two when the teachers were given a week to get ready for term four. I am not arguing about this decision. I know what it takes to change gears from in-person instruction to a virtual class. I know it hs not been easy.  And, I’m sure the teachers needed the time and appreciated it. But, I think just as students were getting used to an online model, we stopped for this break. It is just my opinion but I think the momentum for some has been lost.

I want to be clear. I am not talking about my own student but more about how unmotivated I personally feel and how I can see others might possibly feel unmotivated too. So, if you are feeling unmotivated, I understand; I truly do.

I think I will just end this post here. It’s been a rough day. To top it off, I realized that my brain must work differently than most other people, including some friends and some family. I also realized there is nothing I can do about that. Oh, well.

The sun is out. Tomorrow is another day. And, maybe my motivation will return soon.

10 Thoughts

  1. I feel the same way. On top of not sleeping, hot flashes that have decided to rear their ugly head right now and school projects that are due in two weeks I had a breakdown a couple days ago. Motivation and creativity are at a minimum. Today I got some work done. I am hoping that soon things will be back to normal. I’m just going day by day right now and that will have to be good enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Lynn. It helps to know others are having similar feelings. It such a weird time right now. May is usually my “hard” month. Maybe, I’m just early! 🙂 Good luck finishing your projects! Let me know when your website is up. I hope it is going well!

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  2. Your post brings to mind my own feelings about my “production” over the last month (has it been that long?). I’ve had days where I am engaged–usually because I have an external motivator–and I’ve had days where I went to bed in the evening realizing that I hadn’t done anything meaningful. We (you, me, everyone) are trying to process so much, and sometimes it’s easy for lose sight of the fact that we’re all grieving. We’re grieving the loss of what we once knew as “normal,” and we’re grieving the realization that it might not ever come back. Be well, love yourself, and know that, yes, tomorrow is a new day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Tim. It does help to know others are having similar issues. I usually have a inner locus of control (or, so I thought) but I also know that I work better under pressure. And, right now there just isn’t any. We are all in this together and as you so aptly pointed out, grieving a loss of normal, as well as an uncertain return to normalcy. I am thankful for those, such as yourself, who responded to boost me up today! Tomorrow will be better. Thanks.

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  3. I know what you mean. I go back and forth between:
    -feeling guilty that I’m not doing better with my opportunity to focus inward and get grounded
    -remembering the need for grace and self-forgiveness

    I’d like to say I mostly fall on the side of grace, but it’s hard enough in any circumstances, let alone these difficult times…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You said it well. It is a balancing act. I was more productive in the morning yesterday so I felt better and by afternoon reminded myself that it was okay to take a break. That was until I was reminded that I had not done any “Easter basket shopping.” So, I tried the online cart thing at Target and it worked well. After I got over the guilt of “forgetting to shop for baskets,” I was proud to have figured out a way to still get it done.

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