Do you know the Huey Lewis song, I Want A New Drug? Well, I was inspired today to write a poem using the lyrics of that song as a mentor text.
Once again, I am fighting with myself about friendships and how I react to people and people react to me. I crave REAL conversation. A give and take of information, delivered with concern and fed by genuine caring and curiosity is what I seek. Rarely, am I asked about things I am doing, despite people knowing about what occupies my time. Jewelry making, writing, sewing, or teaching: it doesn’t matter the topic, it goes on without inquiry from others. And, since there’s no inquiry, I offer some information during the course of conversing. Still, once the information is offered, there are no follow-up questions or curiosity, or even observations. The most I get are suggestions. I don’t really want those, especially when there’s not any other type of conversation.
Does anyone else go through this? I seem to have a cyclic occurrence of these feelings. It is a complex issue. And, I realize I bear as much responsibility for how I feel as anyone. I’d just like to figure out how to manage these feelings so that I’m happier with some of my friendships.
The lyrics to the Huey Lewis song are the following:
(I was in college when this song was popular.)
“I want a new drug, one that won’t make me sick
One that won’t make me crash my car
Or make me feel three-feet thick
I want a new drug, one that won’t hurt my head
One that won’t make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red
One that won’t make me nervous
Wonderin’ what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
I want a new drug, one that won’t spill
One that don’t cost too much
Or come in a pill
I want a new drug, one that won’t go away
One that won’t keep me up all night
One that won’t make me sleep all-day
One that won’t make me nervous
Wonderin’ what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
I’m alone with you, baby
I’m alone with you, baby
I want a new drug, one that does what it should
One that won’t make me feel too bad
One that won’t make me feel too good
I want a new drug, one with no doubt
One that won’t make me talk to much
Or make my face breakout
One that won’t make me nervous
Wonderin’ what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
I’m alone with you
I’m alone with you, yeah, yeah”
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Christopher John Hayes / Huey Lewis. 1983.
I Want a New Drug lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc
If you need to hear it, you can watch the YouTube video here.
Here goes my version of wanting a friendship me to make me feel good. Read it as though you are singing along with the tune of Huey Lewis’s I Want a New Drug!
I want a new friend, one that won’t make me mad.
One that won’t make me lose my sleep
Or make me feel real, real bad.
I want a new friend, one that won’t make me sad.
One that shows some interest in me
Or, at least, asks what I oversee.
I want a new friend,
Oh, yes! I really do!
One that I can converse with well,
and feel heard like I’m a ringing bell.
It’s not enough for you just to know what I tell,
But what you ask me without having to yell.
Ask me, ask me, about what I do,
I want a new friend, how about you?!
© Draft, Carol Labuzzetta, 2022. NaPoWriMo #7
Tomorrow, 4/8/22, is Poetry Friday. Since poets from all over the world participate in Poetry Friday, I’ve been trying to post earlier to the host’s page. Thus, on Thursdays, you might get a post from me in the morning as well as in the evening. The host for this week’s Poetry Friday Round-Up is Janice Scully from Salt City Verse. She offeres a wonderful book review and author interview for a children’s poetry book based on a day at a pond. It is well worth the read. Thank you for hosting Janice!
The Apples in My Orchard 
Carol, this post strikes a chord with me. Small talk is exhausting. I’d much rather talk with friends about creative projects, shared interests. Your jewelry making, sewing, writing, and teaching are part of what make YOU interesting!
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Thank you, Laura! I’ve been so bolstered by the comments I’ve received from my Poetry Friday cohort. You all seemed to understand where I was coming from and were supportive in your responses. I am thankful for each of you!
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I hear you, have this feeling with some, Carol, but generally, it’s people I see very little so I just let it slide on by. I have only a few friends that I can have great talks with & that, plus family, feels enough. I wonder if seeking a group that also loved some of the things you do would bring that kind of friend?
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I agree with you, Carol. The small talk is awful. I’m glad you are here with our poetry community.
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Thank you, Jone. Poetry Friday is a wonderfully supportive community- one I am happy and grateful to be a part of.
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Growing up, my mom taught us that whenever we were with other people, we should ask them questions as a way to get to know someone and give them a chance to share their story. I’m sorry that isn’t happening for you. But I’m glad you can channel it into poetry!
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Are you seeing flowers in cacti? Oh, I hope so! We went to the desert outside of Tucson in the fall and it was fabulous – wish I could be there when the cacti bloom! Your mom was wise, and I was taught the same, Patricia. I am hoping to make the best of this difficult situation! Thanks!
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Thank you for your honesty! I hope you will persevere until you find such a friend!
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Thank you, Mary Lee. I have a couple such friends, just not the one I wrote about. I hope to change the tide with her but don’t think it too possible. We’ll see. I can be patient! 🙂
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Carol, it’s hard! I’ve been slowly building a friendship over the past couple of years, though I don’t put as much time into it as I feel I should. But I made a conscious decision a few years ago to build a few real relationships that go beyond acquaintances. It goes so slowly, though, partially because my life is already so full! But I do crave those close connections, too. I just made plans to see my friend next weekend–yay! And my sister I’m closest to and I now do a weekly Zoom, for about the past year. We love each other dearly and are lots alike, but since we live across country from each other, it was too easy to let things slide into once every couple of months phone calls. I’m slowly, slowly feeling more connected. I had to push myself beyond my habits and really consciously reach out (uncomfortable for me, especially as an introvert). Building close in-real-life friendships in my 50s has not been easy for me! I hope you can find the friends you seek, and I’m glad you’re here.
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Laura, Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. It is difficult – I am in my late 50’s and have always been slow to make friends. So, I do not want to give up the ones I have. However, I know some changes are needed. Like you, I started reaching out to other people I think would be a good match for me – asking them to meet for coffee, etc. It is slow going, you have that right! We will be selling our primary residence this May and moving to our cabin (4-season) temporarily so some natural distance will be put between the friend I wrote about and I. But, I also do not want to feel cut off from everyone. I am and introvert, too, and have to watch myself – I enjoy my time alone – but know I need that human connection too. Thank you so much for really hearing me through my post! I am glad I’m here too!
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This is such a heartfelt poem. I’m glad you were able to find a poetic inspiration that gave you the means to express how you are feeling. I hope like Laura you’ll find people on the same wavelength to build new connections with.
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Thank you! I hope I can do that too! I am reaching out to some new people to see if I can build some new connections.
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I’m right there with you, Carol. Living abroad in a country where I am not fluent in the language (and being of a certain age) has been challenging. But I persevere. You will too. I love that you are reaching out and trying to connect. Give yourself grace. You are perfect how you are right now. There will be people who will connect with your passions because you have put it out into the Universe and are open to receiving it. Sending you a virtual hug.
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Thank you Bridget. I am persevering. I can imagine it might be hard living overseas. It’s funny how given a few days, I feel better. I appreciated your warm thoughts and hug!
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Carol, you have joined a supportive community of friends. Your honesty will help others understand you. I think your idea of using song lyrics as a mentor text was a great move. I listened to the song and read your poem. See you at PF this weekend.
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