Less Poetry, Fewer Attempts at Being Published: More Me

It’s been a tough two weeks. While our vacation was nice, I’ve been in a state of stress since arriving home.

Why? Well, that is the focus of today’s post.

When we arrived at our son’s in Colorado, I got a notification that the publisher and peer feedback on my 12,000+ word chapter for a pedagogical textbook on a teaching method I used with my garden club students was delivered to my email.

But, here’s the thing. The publishers have had my chapter since May of 2025. After submitting the chapter, meeting the deadline, which was a minimum of 10,000 words, and had to be written and cited, we were required to do a peer review. The peer review chapter was assigned and due in August 2025. I completed the peer chapter I was assigned and submitted my review.

Time went on, and I didn’t hear about my chapter getting a peer review. By October 2025, I asked. Was my work going to be peer reviewed? The answer I received was yes, but some chapter authors did not complete their peer reviews, and the publisher was seeking additional peer reviewers. I guess this was meant as a response to my chapter, as well as others.

By February 2026, I still had not heard anything. I checked the textbook publisher’s website. Nothing new. I checked for an email from my contact person from the university who was working on the textbook. Nothing there either. My submission sat stagnant.

I emailed the faculty in mid-February who had served as my contact person from the beginning. They were getting my feedback soon and should be able to give it to me “shortly.” This turned out to mean the end of May 2026, when I was given the feedback and asked to revise my chapter by June 5th. Since I was on vacation, they granted me until June 12th.

I started my revisions and quickly realized the reorganization they wanted me to do would take many hours of rewriting. On June 12th, I asked for an extension. They gave me until June 19th. Due to the contract with the publisher, they could not grant me more time than one week.

I continued to work on my revisions until early this week. I came to the conclusion that I would not get them done and submitted cleanly (including removal of figures, added theory, and a revised bibliography that had to be spotless APA form) by Friday.

Tuesday, I had a meltdown.

Yesterday, I stayed away from the revisions.

Today, I emailed the contact person and told her I was withdrawing my work and would not be completing revisions.

Now, you might think this was giving up. But it was actually a decision I made for my own self-care. Having a chapter for a year without ANY feedback was disrespectful. Expecting edits (revisions) in two weeks was unrealistic by anyone’s standards.

My family wholeheartedly supported my decision to not continue with this project.

I write well. I’ve been told by many. But, I don’t play well with others – I’ve been told this too. Feeling devalued or disrespected is always the kiss of death for me. I find it hard to get past.

I’m not networked well. And actually, I don’t care to be. I don’t live in a place where I have ANY opportunity for networking with other writers, publishers, or people in the arts. I don’t know “the right” people to help me succeed in publishing.

Also, during our vacation, I sent a picture book story to a publisher that was open for submissions. Although I knew I wouldn’t hear from them for four months about whether they’d take my story, I expected a “receipt” of submission. They asked for submissions via Google Forms. I’ve used Google Forms before and always got a “receipt” of what was sent. This time I didn’t. They must have it turned off.

Against my better judgment, I sent it three times, hoping to get a receipt for my submission before I realized the auto-form response must have been turned off. I haven’t gotten anything from them. And, now I realize I probably dashed my chances of them picking up the book because of this repeated submission and email (once).

I realize this may be common in publishing, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it or even accept it. It’s not how I go about things. Communication and common courtesy are keys.

It’s been a hard and frustrating two weeks.

Today, I decided that while these decisions and actions bode poorly for a chance to be a traditionally published author, they do keep me true to my authentic self.

I enjoy writing. And I’ll continue to do it.

I mean, I have 1.99K followers on Medium and 845 subscribers on WordPress. I write on Medium 3 – 5 times a week. I belong to a global community there and a smaller community on Poetry Friday. On Medium, I have people who seek to read what I write! How great is that?! I write a lot. I should be proud of how much I write on Medium and WordPress. I’ve let these other pursuits get in the way of that enjoyment.

I need to write more to just enjoy it, rather than have an end goal of recognition or publication. That was today’s ephinany, or as I’d rather call it, my ah-ha moment.

You’ll see less poetry from me. I’ve tried. It’s not my forte, either. I want to embrace joy. It’s been missing for a while. I hope, after today, I see it coming back to me.

I know I’ll get all kinds of reactions to this post, and that’s okay. Please know that this is only my experience and that others have a different, albeit probably more positive experience. But it is an experience I no longer want to pursue.

And I know that I sound angry and frustrated. I have been. I don’t like spending hours and hours on things that don’t bear fruit. I’m too goal-oriented for that.

So, true to my OLW for this year, I need to release my goal to be published to be recognized as a traditionally published author or even an author at all. I like to write.

That’s what I’ll keep doing for myself and those who electively read my words several times a week because they connect with what I write. Thank you if you are one of those people. I do appreciate you.

My poem this week will be my last for a while, and are just my thoughts on publishing.

Unpublished

Over and over
Poem stacks rise
I try, but
No one hints at a prize

A textbook chapter 
Left unsent
After most of the edits 
Are already spent

On my computer screen
A novel sits unfinished
It might be my last hope
To tell a story undiminished

I will write more again 
But now look for joy
To meet me where I lie
Leaving behind those that annoy

Draft, Carol Labuzzetta, 2026

Our host for Poetry Friday this week is Buffy Silverman. Please stop by her page to read more poetry. Thanks.