The Apples in My Orchard

I strive to be true to myself and my own convictions, values, and ideals. This has resulted in me being somewhat on the fringe, but I have learned to live with that. After having a very small group of close friends in high school, and an even smaller group in college, I learned that quality is better than quantity. Now, it is no different. My friends, who know me well, accept me for who I am. For others, I can be an asset to know or alternatively, seen as an oddity, rigid, stubborn or any other number of more derogatory descriptors.

Over my lifetime, I have learned to accept myself and all that I am. Both good and bad. I am emotional, loyal, kind, stubborn, intelligent, insightful, and intense. Until the last few months, I have never been dramatic, diva-ish, or explosive. Sadly, I have been all of those lately. And, I do not know exactly why, but could make some educated guesses.

I remember EVERYTHING! Every nuance, every direction, every comment, every compliment, every commitment, every criticism, every overture, everything – I remember. I wish I didn’t. Often, I remember things that other people do not even if it something the other person said or did. This causes problems for me, as I take them at their word. And, if their word is not even remembered by them, how can it be a directive for me? It cannot.

I know myself well. I know I am not the easiest person to be around. But, I also know what I can do, contribute, and develop, given the chance.  I ask no more than to be treated with respect.  If I have your respect, if I feel that I am valued, I will do everything possible to maintain both my high standards and yours.

The following quotes gave me some comfort tonight when I needed it. They tell me that I should continue to remain true to myself. And, I am okay with that. So are the others who love me.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story